Sunday, May 29, 2011

Sex Scene Mad Libs

A friend and I recently discussed the role of sex scenes in most romances.  The conventional wisdom is that a sex scene should not just be Tab A & Slot B stuff, but should actually "advance the plot."

Only they all advance the plot to some extent.  In most romances, the reader wants to be reassured that the couple are sexually compatible.  Plus, when it's done well, reading about sex can be fun.

No, the real problem with sex scenes -- at least, my real problem with the sex scenes in the books I read -- is that all the protagonists' personality leaves the room when the clothes come off.  To my mind, the challenge of a well-written and fun-to-read sex scene is to make it sexy in ways that are consistent with the characters' lives, thoughts, goals and personalities.

What I read, though, is usually a lot flatter than that.  The hero and heroine become generic, mere bodies in the dance.  It's like there's a downloadable Mad Libs for sex scenes:
            Hero's name       ran his        body part       over        Heroine's name      's        body part       creating a delightful friction.   She trembled all over, arching against his        body part      , tense with her        passionate emotion       for him.
    "My        personal term of endearment      ," he murmured, pressing his        body part       along the length of her        body part      . "You drive me        adjective of passion       with        noun of passion      ."
    "Oh,        Hero's name      ,        period appropriate euphemistic verb for sexual act       me now."
    He        different period appropriate euphemistic verb for sexual act, past tense       her        adverb suggesting sexual prowess      ,        different adverb suggesting sexual prowess      , bringing her to a        period appropriate euphemistic noun for orgasm       before he        period appropriate euphemistic verb for orgasm, past tense       himself.

If I've inadvertently violated anyone's copyright, I apologize.  And to the nice folks at Penguin Group, parents of Mad Libs, I very much apologize for parodying your trademarked product.  Here's your widget so that people can play with the real thing (so to speak):

3 comments:

  1. Bwuahaha! Love it! You should create one for LRP and come guest blog - that would be super fun! Mine's dirty:

    WARWICK ran his COCK over MELODY'S face creating a delightful friction. She trembled all over, arching against his KNEES, tense with her UNREQUITED LOVE for him.

    "My LITTLE DARLING," he murmured, pressing his COCK along the length of her THROAT. "You drive me INSANE with SEXUAL FRUSTRATION."

    "Oh, WARWICK, COME FOR me now."

    He SANK DEEP, her QUIM QUIVERED IN RESPONSE, bringing her to a UNEXPECTED RELEASE before he CAME himself.

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  2. See? It works!

    I would be happy to guest blog at LRP; just say the word. I can make a longer Sex Scene Mad Lib, if you like.

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  3. LOL!!
    Unfortunately, I have read entirely too many sex/love scenes that seem to have been generated the Mad Libs way.

    This also reminds me of the Old Skool title game:
    Requires 3 columns of words; pick one from col A, one from Col B and one from col C to fill in the title formula of Blank's Blanking Blank.

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